Letting Go Of Anger

Hi ya'll

Thank you so much for all your kind messages and e-mails to my family and I. As you can tell, I take Milo VERY personally -- um, as I should right?!

Anyway, I posted on my blog out of pure frustration with our situation. I needed to vent. However, no matter my thoughts or opinions of David, he is still half of Milo - genetically.

I don't want Milo to grow up with negativity surrounding his life. I want Milo to know that he is loved and wanted by all of those that choose to be a part of him. One day, Milo will want to know more about David, and I choose to only tell him the postive things. If I bash David any more, I am afraid Milo will take it personally later on.

Maybe David came into my life for the sole purpose of giving me Milo, and for that, I will always thank him.

David's siblings (that know about Milo) have been very kind toward him. My heart goes out to this family that has a nephew/grand-child/cousin, so far away.

So, long story short, no more will I let David have control over my situation. Afterall, it's about Milo, not me.

Loving Milo

We all know that Jesus loves the little children, right?

Well, what if it were your own son?

Look, I’ve made my choices, but I have never hidden them, or lied about them.

The reason why we didn’t "connect" was because you were so willing to date me, yet when it came time to leaving your house in the morning, you would prefer me to climb out of the window, because your room-mates, you called them friends, are up and watching the Tabernacle Choir.

Seriously. If you can’t be honest with yourself, you can’t be honest with your friends. And are they really your friends if they will judge you for being you?

I told you that you cannot ever live your life as a lie, because the truth will ALWAYS be found. Well, in this instance, it was revealed by way of your son.

I’m sorry for not telling you about him until after his birth, but you were not his father. But, for some reason, God has given you to me, to give me this child. Thank you.

You say you are not ready to be a father. He wasn’t in your plan. Well, I was there too, but I chose to love. He deserves that. He didn’t ask to be brought into the world this way, that was our choice.

I can’t stand that you know about him, yet choose to turn the other way. Is it because you really can’t love him? Or are afraid that others won’t love you, since you have been hiding from yourself? I can’t believe that’s the type of man I made a child with.

Well, in that case, stay hidden. My son deserves a better role model than a man who is too cowardly to love the biggest, most wonderful part of himself.

What Would Jesus Do?

So, when Milo was about 3 months old, my sister contacted his fathers sister over MySpace.  It was a hard decision that had been toying in our minds for a long time, but, Tannith felt it was the right thing to do.  And I am so glad that she did.

It's sad to see however, how much disdain Milo's dad has about him.  The worst part is that he is requested his family to not have contact with Milo. 

Anyway, I want everyone to know about his dad, and how he is behaving.  If that means opening myself up more, then so be it.  I don't lie about what happened and I certainly won't protect his father in his lie.

Here is a link to hubpages.com  This is an article written by David's (Milo's dad) sister.

http://hubpages.com/hub/An-Open-Letter--To-Absent-Fathers

Update -- Where ya been?

Hi. I know, I'm terrible at updating this thing. Well, mainly because Milo and I just moved -- yup. Moved. I have my laptop with me, but, I don't have the wireless internet that I had when living at mom and dads.

Anyway, Milo had quite the time adjusting, it was sad. He had just finally started sleeping through the night. He was really weepy too. I think he missed the grand-parents, his uncle stubot and all the animals.

But, all is well and we are adjusting nicely. Here are some updated pictures of us: