Tresca -- "did you know there is a wine with that name?"

HAHA

2009-03-27T21:10:00.001-06:00

I have nothing to say.

Teddy Bear Picnic

2009-02-22T13:26:00.001-07:00

So, I found this photo... Last summer, my parents and I took Milo to the Orem City Library where we had a Teddy Bear Picnic. Volunteers came and ready story books and we sang songs. I dressed Milo and Beary in matching outfits. Striped shirts with overalls. Beary wore brown, Milo wore green. With matching hats of course.

We have fun

2009-02-22T13:14:00.001-07:00

So lately, Milo is walking and walking all over the place. It's hard, because he wants to walk to the car in the morning, walk into daycare, walk out of daycare, walk back to the apartment. So, what used to take us 3 minutes, now takes us about 13! BUT, I can't help but smile to myself as we walk. It's so funny, because he looks like a little old man when walking. He even sticks out his lower jaw, hobbles with his elbows tucked in, and sways side to side while he shuffles....all he needs is a cane.

Hi Ya'll

2009-02-15T20:15:00.002-07:00

I know it's been a while....too long!!

Let's see,,,,,quick update.

Still hanging out in a tiny 1 bedroom apartment, dying to move out of there!! I love it, but it's 4 flights of stairs up and down every day. I called my old landlord in Orem, and hopefully my old duplex will open up at the end of this semester with students moving off to grad. school.

Milo has been going back and forth with upper respiratory infections and pneumonia. Ugh. It sucks, but soon he will be on the mend.....let's hope for good.

Well, I hoped to upload some pictures, but my computer is being an ASS. So, hopefully soon!

Seriously. The NERVE!

2009-01-15T07:04:00.001-07:00

So, I was told the other day that it's not too late to adopt Milo out to a loving family. Apparently, Milo deserves more than what I can offer him, oh, and he deserves a mother to be at home with him during the day, and a father in his life.
This all came about because this certain person took it upon themselves and decided that Milo was not to be in day care all day. They even told me how many hours a day he was there. Must have been stewing over this thought for several days....
I love Milo. I love Milo more than ANYTHING else. How disgusting to challenge my love for him. I am hard enough on myself as it is, I don't need others telling me he deserves better, and telling me that I'm a bad mom. Milo has a mother that laughs and plays and certainly loves him every moment she is with him. That's what he knows, and that is what he loves. Milo has a father. Milo's father supports him financially, and for that we are grateful.
I believe that as long as you are loved and feel secure, it doesn't matter if you are playing at "school" while mommy is working hard to provide a life for you. If you are told it's normal, you will believe it's normal. If you are told you are unloved, that is what you will eventually believe. Does this make TOO much sense? Probably.
I get sick at the thought and am so disgusted and hurt they would say such a thing.

Everyone....

2008-12-27T16:08:00.001-07:00

I'm cutting my hair tonight.

YAY!!!

A Video for Becky

2008-11-06T18:39:00.000-07:00

Jen and Tresca Go To Ogden

2008-10-26T20:33:00.002-06:00

So, Jen and I went to Ogden this past weekend to attend a business conference. Not only did we win for our Marketing Proposal, we also met some bikers, loaded up on complimentary conditioner and lotion, wandered 25th street, and left $1.00 with our names on it attached to the wall of some saloon....

i've cut my hair

2008-10-13T20:49:00.002-06:00

NOT!!!

You like my new hair-do? I'm a throw back to the 50s, now I just need a man, a house, and loads of laundry....

i love him

2008-10-13T20:33:00.002-06:00

I miss my jeep

2008-10-02T20:26:00.001-06:00

Terribly.

Crazy sky

2008-09-30T17:38:00.001-06:00

Aly wanted family pictures done the other day, and this is how the weather presented itself.

Thanks

Thanks alot

My Men

2008-09-30T17:33:00.002-06:00

So, this is Milo and Daniel. They have fun teaming up against me. Yup. That's what they do.

Best part is, Milo listens better to Daniel than to me! He'll take a nap when supposed to, eat his food properly, stop throwing fits. Yeah, you name it...

Anyway, thought this picture was cute :)

Family Picture

2008-09-26T07:13:00.002-06:00

So, Stubots mission talk thing was this past Sunday. Mom arranged for a lady in the ward to come over and take a few family pictures.

Of course, Milo and I needed our very own family picture -- so check it out!

Let me just tell you that I still find it amazing that this child with this gorgeous hair came from me! Although, the vanity side of it says, "well, duh!"

No Need For Words -- Enough Said

2008-09-18T07:48:00.001-06:00

My Redneck Weekend

2008-08-24T15:43:00.006-06:00

It all started off when Daniel took me to the Demolition Derby in Spanish Fork. Let me just tell you that this was the craziest thing I have ever been to! Drivers work on their cars with paint, geared-up engines, tires, roll bars -- whatever.

They are packed into an arena, usually 10 - 14 cars at a time. Then, it's free game. You must make a qualified hit every 30 seconds or something. Anyhow, here are the pictures from that...

The next day after the Demolition Derby, we joined a Harley Ride for Fallen Officers. The ride started at the Harley shop in Lindon, and we rode through town and up State Street to the State Capitol building. The ride up took just over 2 hours, which would normally take 45 minutes in a car. There were just over 2,000 bikes on this run. It was fun except when the Toyota Tacoma and it's ass of a driver cut into our line about 6 bikes up. All I remember hearing is about 12 people saying the "F" word, screeching tires, smoke and our bike stopping. We missed the two bikes in front of us by about 2 feet -- SO scary. Oh, and that's my helmet with the skull -- well, really Daniel's :)

i...i...i...

2008-08-14T16:33:00.004-06:00

i am: back on my diet
i think: about going back to africa
i know: that i'm doing the right thing in raising milo
i want: milo and i to have the happiest time in any situation
i have: short hair and i want it long
i wish: i could take pictures all day long
i dislike: unkind people
i miss: my jeep
i fear: failure
i feel: comfortable with my life
i hear: music in my head all day long
i smell: baby powder -- great for the cleavage in this heat :)
i crave: lemons and water
i usually: cry when overwhelmed
i search: for the good in all situations
i wonder: if milo will ever know david
i regret: whenever i lose my patience
i love: milo and my family, photography, africa and it's people, the great U S of A, my job, the ocean, the smell of grass, choices, kind people and the smaller things in life
i care: about feelings
i always: will play The Sounds as loud as it will go
i worry: that milo will feel rejected - that is painful
i am not: going to miss a think in life
i remember: my first birthday cake, mom singing tula-baba to me, the beaches in africa, when tann and stu were born, always wanting a house with stairs, driving the VW bug into the garage door at 7 years old
i believe: in God
i dance: when i'm happy
i sing: without a tune
i don’t always: say thank you enough
i argue: with myself
i write: only to help me through tough times
i win: every day with my monster milo mania
i lose: my emotions at times
i never: thought i would become "one of THOSE girls"
i listen: not well enough
i don't understand: why we think too much -- it is what it is, love it!
i can usually be found: by calling my cell phone
i am scared: of tokoloshes, or putting my feet on the ground in the dark
i need: love
i forget: everything important and somehow remember the other
i am happy about: life
i now tag: you

Pregnant - phew, that's over

2008-08-13T17:34:00.003-06:00

Look at this photo I found from my baby shower -- My Stomach!!!

Grandfather

2008-08-13T17:22:00.002-06:00

This is my grandfather Andrew Miller - didn't have the pleasure of knowing him. He died when my mom was 15. He's buried in Scotland, I hope to visit him there one day.

My Go-Go

2008-08-13T17:20:00.002-06:00

Look at my Go-Go (Zulu for Grandmother)

Isn't she pretty?

I miss her. She was a fun and cheeky old lady who would have just loved my little monster to bits!!

Red Hair

2008-08-10T11:47:00.003-06:00

Wikipidia -

Approximately 1% to 2% of the human population has red hair. Red hair appears in people with two copies of a recessive gene on chromosome 16 which causes a change in the MC1R protein.

In order to get a red head, both parents need to carry "the" gene.

Ok - so, I've been dying my hair since I was 16 years old. Started with working at Albertson's in the summer bringing the grocery carts back in, bagging groceries and taking them out to the cars, and bringing the carts back in, bagging...you get the idea. I wanted to keep up with summer's past, and get as much sun as I could. So, I started putting Sun-In onto my roots and combing through. That stuff does work! I started getting golden locks.

Then, continued with the Blonde Ambition. About 4 years ago, I decided to go dark, 3 years ago, black.

I love walking around with Milo -- just about every single person will take a double look at us. I know what's going through their minds - Red Hair? Is he hers?

The point to this posting is this:

Who Knew I Had Red Hair? Check out this photo I took yesterday. I know, I need to color the roots, BUT, before I do, notice the red. It's only slight, but there it is!!

So, there you have it. I not only carry this recessive gene, I too have slight appearances of red.

Letting Go Of Anger

2008-07-29T08:41:00.002-06:00

Hi ya'll

Thank you so much for all your kind messages and e-mails to my family and I. As you can tell, I take Milo VERY personally -- um, as I should right?!

Anyway, I posted on my blog out of pure frustration with our situation. I needed to vent. However, no matter my thoughts or opinions of David, he is still half of Milo - genetically.

I don't want Milo to grow up with negativity surrounding his life. I want Milo to know that he is loved and wanted by all of those that choose to be a part of him. One day, Milo will want to know more about David, and I choose to only tell him the postive things. If I bash David any more, I am afraid Milo will take it personally later on.

Maybe David came into my life for the sole purpose of giving me Milo, and for that, I will always thank him.

David's siblings (that know about Milo) have been very kind toward him. My heart goes out to this family that has a nephew/grand-child/cousin, so far away.

So, long story short, no more will I let David have control over my situation. Afterall, it's about Milo, not me.

Milo - you are loved

2008-07-21T16:46:00.002-06:00

I am writing this in the hopes that the deadbeat loser who chose to be the father of my grandson will read it. Do you have any idea what you are missing out on selfish person?? This wonderful little boy came into our lives on January 3rd, 2008. Yes after a lot of pain, heartache and embarrassment finding out that your beautiful daughter was to give birth out of wedlock. We watched Tresca take care of her body by eating healthy and staying away from anything that would harm her little boy growing inside of her. It was me who went to every appointment with her, all the time thinking where is the man who made her pregnant, he should be here with her. Yes she told me that you humiliated her by asking her to climb out the window, how terrible, what kind of creature are you. But you topped that one by refusing to see the little boy and saying "He is only a kid". Oh my, who do you think you are? Only a man that I feel terribly sorry for because one day you will regret it. Milo is going to grow up to be a strong healthy individual who is surrounded by a loving extended family, who do not shun. We have embraced him and love him and enjoy every minute with him.

Tresca has not asked you to marry her or provide for her, just her little boy and yours. You could have such an impact in his life by being a father and doing all the things a little boy deserves in his formative years. BUT the more I hear about you the less I like you, maybe you would not be the role model we would expect. I believe your family have rallied around you, but for one brave soul who says it like she see's it, more power to her. Shame on you for all the pain you have inflicted..Tresca is strong and she will recover but I wonder if Milo will ever come to terms with the pain of knowing that a father did not want to have anything to do with him, since when was it Milo's fault?

Loving Milo

2008-07-19T11:59:00.002-06:00

We all know that Jesus loves the little children, right?

Well, what if it were your own son?

Look, I’ve made my choices, but I have never hidden them, or lied about them.

The reason why we didn’t "connect" was because you were so willing to date me, yet when it came time to leaving your house in the morning, you would prefer me to climb out of the window, because your room-mates, you called them friends, are up and watching the Tabernacle Choir.

Seriously. If you can’t be honest with yourself, you can’t be honest with your friends. And are they really your friends if they will judge you for being you?

I told you that you cannot ever live your life as a lie, because the truth will ALWAYS be found. Well, in this instance, it was revealed by way of your son.

I’m sorry for not telling you about him until after his birth, but you were not his father. But, for some reason, God has given you to me, to give me this child. Thank you.

You say you are not ready to be a father. He wasn’t in your plan. Well, I was there too, but I chose to love. He deserves that. He didn’t ask to be brought into the world this way, that was our choice.

I can’t stand that you know about him, yet choose to turn the other way. Is it because you really can’t love him? Or are afraid that others won’t love you, since you have been hiding from yourself? I can’t believe that’s the type of man I made a child with.

Well, in that case, stay hidden. My son deserves a better role model than a man who is too cowardly to love the biggest, most wonderful part of himself.

What Would Jesus Do?

So, when Milo was about 3 months old, my sister contacted his fathers sister over MySpace. It was a hard decision that had been toying in our minds for a long time, but, Tannith felt it was the right thing to do. And I am so glad that she did.

It's sad to see however, how much disdain Milo's dad has about him. The worst part is that he is requested his family to not have contact with Milo.

Anyway, I want everyone to know about his dad, and how he is behaving. If that means opening myself up more, then so be it. I don't lie about what happened and I certainly won't protect his father in his lie.

Here is a link to hubpages.com This is an article written by David's (Milo's dad) sister.

http://hubpages.com/hub/An-Open-Letter--To-Absent-Fathers

Update -- Where ya been?

2008-07-16T17:08:00.002-06:00

Hi. I know, I'm terrible at updating this thing. Well, mainly because Milo and I just moved -- yup. Moved. I have my laptop with me, but, I don't have the wireless internet that I had when living at mom and dads.

Anyway, Milo had quite the time adjusting, it was sad. He had just finally started sleeping through the night. He was really weepy too. I think he missed the grand-parents, his uncle stubot and all the animals.

But, all is well and we are adjusting nicely. Here are some updated pictures of us:

One Fish Two Fish Red Fish Blue ???

2008-05-21T16:52:00.002-06:00

Milo LOVES his reading time at night with his mommy. I have SO much fun reading to him. He will look at the book, look at me, back at the book, then back at me...

His favorite book right now is One Fish Two Fish Red Fish Blue Fish -- good ol' Doctor Seuss!!

He is a nosy little professor.

2008-05-06T20:56:00.002-06:00

How long can I use the excuse of "baby weight'?

Really. I NEED to get serious about a diet now. So, starting tomorrow, or the next day :), it's on!!!

Look. Here's the thing, I've lost lots of weight before, 38lbs, however, this time I feel as if I have NO self control! I just eat, eat and eat.

But, no more! Well, eating ALL the time like I've been doing. Plus, I wanna start running again. I really love it. Nothing is better than cruising along with my IPOD. Most specifically, The Sounds singing me along....

So, stay tuned. Let's see if I can do it! Well, I'm just gonna have to...

Short Hair

2008-04-13T08:40:00.002-06:00

Alright, I had been contemplating doing this for the last two years... Finally, got the guts to chop it all off!

Baby's Day Out

2008-03-26T21:25:00.005-06:00

Milo's first Easter!

That morning, we decided to join my mom and dad on a trip down to San Rafael Swell. Milo was GREAT on the car ride down, slept the whole time. But then, just as we arrived, he let me know that he was hungry. HUNGRY. While mom fed him, dad and I goofed around, much to the dismay of mom.

After that, dad took us to see the "writings on the wall", and down to the river.

Then, his grand-dad decided to let him feel fresh snow melt for the first time....he was not happy about it. :(

Growing Up Milo

2008-03-21T22:21:00.005-06:00

Milo is growing up so quickly. Today, we had to get him size 3 diapers, and 9 month old pajamas -- he's only 2 and a half months old!! Mainly, it's because he is so long. he's going to be so tall!

Anyway, of course, here are some new pictures of him that I just LOVE!

Oh, and meet Lamb-Chops. Milo absolutely ADORES this stuffed animal. He reaches for him and just hangs on to him. I love it.

Cousins!!!

2008-03-13T17:20:00.002-06:00

My cousins came to play last weekend. We had SO much fun! Grandma and Grand-dad moved a mattress into the family room. I layed on the mattress while Adysen and Clayson jumped around me. Brayden liked to climb over me too. We had so much fun with Big Beary also. I can't wait to have them come visit again!

Funny Grandparents

2008-03-13T17:11:00.006-06:00

Every night I like to hang out on my grandma and grand-dads bed. I even begin to ignore my mommy when she tries to get my attention. But look how much they make me laugh!

Spot the Spotter

2008-03-02T19:10:00.003-07:00

Shuru the cat loves to hang around and look after Milo. Usually, he will appear when he's been crying.

There was even one night when I was fast asleep. Suddenly, a book hit me in the face. I woke up to Shuru on my nightstand where the book was, and Milo crying. He was nice enough to wake me :)

So What Spit Up

2008-03-02T19:07:00.003-07:00

Ok, so my timing may not be perfect, but sometimes I get tired of having to pose all the time... Maybe this will teach them.

Oh, and meet my cousin Brayden, he was giving me a snuggle for the picture :)

That's my granny

2008-03-01T21:46:00.000-07:00

That's my granny -- she spoils me. And that's all I have to say about that.

8 Weeks -- Doo Dah, Doo Dah

2008-03-01T21:38:00.004-07:00

Since I'm 8 weeks old now, I think I should be able to stay up as late as I want, and not sleep in my crib anymore.

I've been hanging out with my Tann in the mornings while my mommy is working -- she spoils me :)

A Night Home

2008-02-24T17:37:00.003-07:00

Uncle Stuart spoils the little man. Please note the matching "Horde" t-shirts. I'm not sure what Horde means, Stuart and Milo will not let me in on their little secret.

I love the red hair next to grand-dad's bald head!! Oh, and this is Shuru, he pretty much lets Milo do what he wants

Monster Milo's Mobile

2008-02-16T12:43:00.006-07:00

One of Milo's favorite places to be is in his crib. Grandma got him this mobile with four little animals. What's really nice is after winding this up about four or five times, Milo will go to sleep :))

2008-02-15T10:20:00.002-07:00

I love these two pictures.

He used to hate his bath, but now he just loves it! Thanks to grandma of course :))

Baby Milo is 6 weeks old!

2008-02-14T18:16:00.003-07:00

My baby is six weeks old today. Can you believe it?! I'm a bit sad because I have to go back to work on Monday, but it will only be for 4 hours each day....until June.

He now weighs over 13 lbs and is already wearing 3 month clothing...he is a big healthy boy!

Anyway, I must go as he is now crying to be fed -- yet again :))

Hair Ball

2008-02-07T15:34:00.000-07:00

OK -- I'll be the first to admit it, his hair rocks!!! He gets comments on it everywhere we go,,,,makes a mama proud.

Dry Skin

2008-01-31T11:53:00.000-07:00

Meet Milo. This picture was taken when he was only a day old. But mainly, the reason for my posting this morning, is to complain. Complain about dry skin.

You see, I had great skin the whole time I was pregnant, and dare I say before? Anyhow, ever since I gave birth, well, the doctors took birth through my stomach, I have had the most dry skin, especially on my hands and arms.

I've tried everything! Well, all except butter lather -- that's for later today.